You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
