Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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