Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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