just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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