We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
