he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
