Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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