Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
