I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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