im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
