That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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