You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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