I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
