dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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