The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
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woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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