he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
