dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize