she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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