It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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