apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
