Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just puked most of my soul out..
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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