Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize