I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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