Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
