why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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