Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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