i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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