It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
