is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
