I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
