THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
