can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
