he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
