Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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