so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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