You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
