his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
