she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
