Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
