How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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