Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
