He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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