The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
