so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
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It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
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When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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