Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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