Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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