The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
