My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
