Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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