wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Omg I joined a choir last night...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
