I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
