hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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