this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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