Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
