Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
