after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My penis needs a shock collar
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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