I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
