My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
