It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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