We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
